Brandon Hellan still remembers what it felt like when everything changed. He was in his early 20s when his parents divorced. Though he was technically an adult, the split shook something deep inside him.

“I really think my parents’ divorce made me put up these walls and treat relationships like they were rentals, temporary,” he said years later.

Brandon’s words echo the reality for millions of children of divorce. The effects do not end when the papers are signed—they can shadow a person for years, reshaping how they see loyalty, commitment and trust. Many grow up reluctant to marry. Some repeat the same pattern they once watched unfold. Others quietly resign themselves to distant or unstable relationships, never quite sure what a healthy home is supposed to feel like.

What can be done to stop the divorce cycle from continuing into the next generation?

It helps to recognize the scale of the problem. Recent research makes clear just how far-reaching the effects of a broken home can be. A comprehensive national study released in early 2025 found that U.S. children whose parents divorced before age five earned 13 percent less income by age 27 than peers from intact families. They were also more likely to experience teenage pregnancy, incarceration and even early death. Conducted by economists from the University of California, Merced, the U.S. Census Bureau, and the University of Maryland, the research drew from decades of government data, including tax records and census files for all U.S. children born between 1988 and 1993.

When a marriage ends, it often triggers a cascade of changes for the children involved: a drop in household income, relocation to a lower-income neighborhood and reduced time with one parent. These shifts combine to create a wide range of social and economic challenges—and their effects can last well into adulthood.

Wider Problem

The study reveals divorce is not just a family matter—it has ripple effects across entire communities and generations. As more children grow up without the daily stability of two married parents, the impact surfaces in classrooms, workplaces and neighborhoods. Lower graduation rates, fewer economic opportunities and weakened support networks often trace back to early family instability.

One-third of American children see their parents divorce before turning 18. Research from The Brookings Institution shows that those raised by continuously married parents enjoy significantly greater economic and social mobility than those from divorced or long-term single-parent homes.

Given this, the falling U.S. divorce rate—from more than 10 percent in 2008 to about seven percent in 2022—might appear encouraging. Yet part of the decline reflects a shift away from marriage altogether. Cohabitation, which is harder to track, often involves children and long-term bonds but carries many of the same risks when it ends. Others remain in marriages that function in name only, staying together out of financial necessity or fear of the consequences.

Statistics can measure income and financial mobility, but they cannot capture the loss of confidence children feel when stability at home is uncertain. That erosion of trust—both in relationships and in life itself—becomes one of divorce’s most lasting and costly legacies.

Emotional Inheritance

Children are not passive observers when their parents separate. They notice how conflict is handled—or avoided. They feel the absence when one parent is no longer there every day. Long before they can explain it, they are absorbing lessons about loyalty and forgiveness. Years later, those lessons shape how they approach relationships of their own.

For some, this means hesitating to marry, unsure whether commitment can last. Others carry unspoken tension into their own homes, struggling to model what they never saw lived out. Over time, these patterns can repeat—not only because of environment, but because of deep-seated ways of thinking and relating formed early in life.

Sociologist Philip Cohen noted: “I believe parents are aware divorce may have harmful consequences for their children, and make difficult judgments about what is in their own best interest, as well as the interest of their children.” Divorce is rarely entered into lightly, but even the most careful decisions can leave sons and daughters with unresolved wounds.

The Bible affirms the importance of family. Proverbs 20:7 says, “The just man walks in his integrity: his children are blessed after him.” Steady moral leadership in the home sets the direction of a child’s life. Stability is learned by watching it. Love is learned by experiencing it. Trust is learned when forgiveness and humility are consistently exhibited. These foundational lessons are often among the first casualties when a home breaks apart.

Breaking the Cycle

The cycle of divorce can be broken. No matter how deeply it has marked your past—whether you have experienced it yourself or grown up in its shadow—the future can be different. God’s Way provides the framework to rebuild trust, strengthen commitment and create a home where stability is the norm.

Two Bible principles are especially helpful. One is conflict resolution. Ephesians 4:26 instructs, “Be you angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath.” Addressing problems quickly, respectfully and with the goal of restoring peace prevents anger from hardening into bitterness—a habit children will carry into their own relationships.

Another is forgiveness. Colossians 3:13 urges us to forgive “even as Christ forgave you.” In marriage, this means letting go of grudges, working through pain and refusing to weaponize past wrongs. When children witness this, they learn that while marriages face challenges, they can endure and grow stronger over time.

Whether breaking a destructive cycle or continuing a strong example, the way forward is the same: follow God’s proven pattern for marriage and family. This takes work—but it works. Around the world, couples who once felt unsure or overwhelmed are now raising stable, loving households because they chose to apply biblical principles.

The Restored Church of God, publisher of this magazine, offers clear, practical resources to help you do the same. From dating and courtship guidance to parenting instruction, these tools show you exactly how to apply the Bible’s wisdom in daily life. They do not sugarcoat the effort required—but they equip you with what you need to succeed.

God’s Blueprint for Families

Breaking harmful patterns is only the beginning. For change to last, it must be anchored in a godly foundation that produces strong, stable families.

Proverbs 22:6 instructs, “Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.” This training begins in the home and thrives on consistency and clear expectations. Children flourish when discipline is fair, affection is steady and teaching is woven into everyday life—not only during moments of correction.

Deuteronomy 6:7 encourages parents to speak of God’s ways “when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise up.” This constant presence of godly instruction gives children a moral framework they can rely on, even in a world filled with shifting standards.

God’s principles for marriage play a foundational role in this process. When a husband and wife follow the roles God outlines—marked by leadership, love, respect and sacrifice—they create an environment where children feel secure. Ephesians 5 clearly outlines what God expects from husbands and wives. Take time to read the entire chapter. This stability gives sons and daughters a living example to carry into their own homes one day.

The Next Generation

God deeply cares about families—He is a Father Himself. Family is central to His Plan, and He will one day soon intervene in world affairs to “turn the heart of the fathers to the children, and the heart of the children to their fathers” (Mal. 4:6). Isaiah 9:6-7 foretells of a time when God will reign as “The Everlasting Father,” bringing lasting peace and order. That future will rebuild family structures at every level.

But you do not have to wait for that day to experience the benefits. God’s instructions for marriage and family are available now. And they take into account that we currently live in a sinful, broken world.

Here is how God feels about marriages ending: “For the Lord, the God of Israel, says that He hates putting away [divorce]” (Mal. 2:16). At the same time, God acknowledges that divorce may sometimes be necessary. Matthew 19:9 and other verses show this. While divorce is not the ideal, God recognizes that not every marriage can be preserved when human nature is involved.

Knowing God’s intent for relationships is only the first step. The real change comes when those principles are put into action—when couples build their homes on His standards.

We at The Restored Church of God are here to help. Visit rcg.org for a wide range of free, biblically based resources on marriage and family.

Cycles can be broken. Families can be built—or rebuilt—God’s way. And when they are, the next generation can grow up with stability, trust and love as the foundation of their lives.

This article contains information from The Associated Press.